Focus On: Johan Vaaler     Johan Vaaler was born on March 15, 1866. In this year Jesse James (& Co.) committed the first peacetime daylight robbery in United States history. Johan Vaaler did not know this, partly because he was born in Norway and news at the time did not travel fast, but mostly because he was not yet born at the time of the robbery, it having taken place a full month before his birthday.     Johan Vaaler's profession of choice was that of inventor. Traditionally, the role of inventor is to assess what technology is currently available, find an area that could use improvement, then attempt to provide said improvement. Johan Vaaler, far from being a traditionalist, turned his nose at the idea.     After years of exhausting work, Johan Vaaler finally, in 1899, developed his magnum opus - the paperclip. He rushed from his tiny laboratory overflowing with loose papers, tripping over his golden retriever Theodore, calling (in Norwegian) "Eureka! No longer will papers flap freely in the breeze! I have contained the wild beast!" His wife, Barbara, rolled her eyes. Johan Vaaler was quick to be excited. On their wedding night he had jumped out of bed mid-coitus, pulled on his trousers as he flew from their honeymoon suite, and spent the next four hours outside staring into the sky because he thought he had heard an owl. He just really liked owls, ok?     And what, you may ask, is the problem with his invention? Is the reader to think the writer hired by this fine publication loathes the gentle paperclip? It is not true, I say, it is not! Nine years earlier, across the waterpail in tipper ol' England, the Gem Manufacturing Company had begun production of the "Gem clip," an elongated oval of thin wire twisted in on itself, providing an ideal resting place for free-roaming papers. They were an instant hit. People clamored for this new wonder product, waving great stacks of papers at flustered shopkeepers who could barely keep up with the heavy-breathing demand of rampaging consumers.     It was not long before the Gem clips, or "Paper-Clips" as people had begun to call them, reached the chilly fjords of Norway. As great crates of the things washed ashore, the Norwegians ran to the beach to grab them up, ending the tyranny gentle breezes had long wreaked on stacked paper. They cheered for the clip, my, such a simple little thing, look, it's just one wire all twisted around. Marvelous! Tremendous!     Johan Vaaler saw this great ruckus and scoffed. "This object, this Paper-Clip, it is not such a great thing. I will make my own clip for loose papers, and not only will it be less appealing, it will be less functional too!" It is likely he did not say this, for I am paraphrasing, my beloved reader, but this indeed was the outcome of his years of hard work. He had taken an already-functional piece of technology, one that did its simple task well enough, and put his own, clunky twist on it. This did not stop him from patenting the object in Germany in 1899, then in the U.S. in 1901, just in time to see Alferd Pecker released from prison after serving 18 years for cannibalism. He would go on to inspire two youths from Colorado to create Cannibal! The Musical. Johan Vaaler's paperclip, however, was never manufactured, due to the simple fact that a superior version of his invention existed nine years before he invented it.     This fact did not dampen Johan Vaaler's spirits one bit. He went on to lead a full, healthy life, and may or may not have became an owl-tamer for a local children's theatre.     But is there life after Johan Vaaler? For the paperclip, the proper one - yes, obviously. For his version of the paperclip - well, it's probably safely filed in a well-lit patent office basement somewhere in Washington. For the man himself? No, he died in 1910, although reincarnation is not entirely ruled out.     A fitting end: Sometime after World War II a giant paperclip was mysteriously erected overnight near Oslo. According to the plaque, it was erected in honor of Johan Vaaler, the man who saw opportunity, took it in his fist, and never looked back. END Back