The Morality Morsels or "Moralistic Pap to be Easily Digested by Schoolchildren" ******     One day at recess Gustav and Gunter were playing on the jungle gym. They laughed and pretended they were monkeys. They both loved recess.     Just then, the school bell rang, and the two boys ran towards their classes.     "Oh boy!" said Gunter. "It's time for math class! Nothing is more interesting than math class!"     "Math class is stupid!" said Gustav. "I'm on my way to art class. Nothing is more interesting than art class!"     "Art class is the worst class ever! Math class is fun!"     "Math class is boring! I'd rather die than go to math class!"     "Art class is so brainless! I'd rather die than go to art class!"     And so Gustav and Gunter stood arguing on the playground for quite some time. Finally, they were interrupted by the school bell again, and their classmates came running out to go home. While they had argued, the two boys had missed both math and art class, and were now forced to go home and play boring video games. ******     Little Alice sat in a quiet meadow reading her favorite fairy tale. She was almost to her favorite part, the part where the hero is about to creep into the dragon's lair to save the maiden. She was breathless with anticipation.     But before the knight could even cross the moat of lava, she was interrupted by a frantic voice. "I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!"     She crawled through the bushes and saw a little white rabbit rushing about, looking at his pocket watch. He ran towards a hole in the hill and jumped in, disappearing from view.     Alice returned to her book. Moments later the rabbit popped his head out of the hole. He cleared his throat and said, in an even louder voice, "I'm late! I'm late!" He waited for Alice to respond. "I said, I'm late! I'm--"     "Excuse me!" snapped Alice, "Will you be quiet? I'm trying to read!" And with that she slammed her book shut and marched off to find a quieter meadow. ******     Once there were three men. Their names were Murt, Mort and Mart. They didn't know each other, but all three shared one important trait - nobody liked them. They didn't know why this was, but even the smallest child could have told you - they smelled terrible, and nobody wants to be around a smelly person. Murt had never bathed in his life, Mort was always smoking, and Mart farted constantly in public.     One day, by chance, they each happened upon a classified ad for a job they all wanted. They got on their best, smelly suits and headed downtown to the tallest skyscraper in the city. They all got there at the same time, and all got in the same elevator. The interviewer's office was on the one hundredth floor.     "Jeez!" thought Murt. "These guys really stink! I'm glad I don't smoke or fart so much."     "Man alive!" thought Mort. "These guys really smell bad! I'm glad I take bathes and don't fart all the time."     "Criminey!" thought Mart. "These guys reek something fierce! I'm glad I take showers and don't smoke!"     The elevator stopped at the top floor and they all got out. They then went to the interview. None of them got the job, because nobody wants to hire a smelly person.     They rode the elevator back down together in a disappointed silence. "Oh well," they each thought, "At least I don't stink like these guys." ******     Georgia Garamond Davis was a little girl with a simple dream - she wanted nothing more in life than to be a great opera singer. But she knew that beginning opera singers are anything but great, so she decided to wait until she was great enough to start singing.     She dreamed about the wonderful arias she would perform, the moving performances her future held. She decided that, when she started singing, she would sing about the beautiful things in life - the opening of a plum blossom, the first snowfall of winter, and the goodness of the human spirit. She would sing about the tragedies of life too, the lost loves, the disappointments, the mistakes and missed opportunities. People would see her performances and have their lives changed. She would make a difference in the world.     She dreamed like this for years, until finally she decided that she was now great enough to start singing. By this time she was ninety five years old. She got booked as the star of her own show - she was a great opera singer, after all - in the biggest theatre in town.     On opening night she hobbled up on stage, ready to change the world. As the music swelled, she opened her mouth to sing, but. . . nothing came out. She opened it again and again, nothing came out. No plum blossoms, no lost loves - nothing! She stood in front of everyone gaping like a drowning fish.     Nobody booed her off stage. They were too disappointed. They had wanted their lives changed. They silently shuffled out of the theatre and went to the movies instead.     The next morning nobody could find Georgia Garamond Davis. But her kids, grandkids and great grandkids all woke up to find a small book under their beds - A Beginner's Guide to the Opera. ******     Stuart Tate wanted a fancy hat. He knew exactly what kind he wanted - a big blue one, tall and with a peacock feather stuck in it. He'd seen it before; his neighbor had one. And his boss had one too. And his postman, and his doctor - actually, everybody he had ever met had had a hat like the one Stuart wanted. This only made him want one all the more.     So Stuart Tate worked hard to get a hat of his own. He didn't particularly like his work, but he knew the hat would be worth it in the end. He worked and worked and worked some more.     Finally, he got so old that they wouldn't let him work anymore. But he still didn't have his hat! The young man who fired him didn't understand what Stuart was talking about. And he even had the audacity to not understand while wearing a fancy blue hat!     Stuart Tate went home that night and died. He had wanted only one thing in life, and now that he couldn't have it his body stopped trying. As he floated up out of his body he looked down. He saw a tired old man, now lifeless, slumped in the couch. On top of his bald head was a hat - tall, blue, and with a peacock feather stuck in it. It had been there his whole life, had he just looked up. ******     There was once an old oak tree. It was the largest in the forest, and had hundreds of branches. The branches were all good friends. They grew together, they photosynthesized together, and each evening they had big branch parties together. "We are the best of friends!" they would cry. "Nothing will come between us!"     One night a terrible storm rolled into the forest. The branches all huddled together against the rain. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning flashed in the sky. It hit a young branch on the top of the tree, sending him bursting into flames.     The other branches started screaming. "Our friend! He's turned on us! He's going to burn us all down!"     They started shaking in a great panic. All except one, a thin branch towards the top. "Don't worry!" he yelled at the other branches. "He is still our friend! He won't turn on us! Trust him!"     But he was just one branch of many. He grimaced as they screamed, burning one after the other. Finally, he was the last branch remaining. He winced in anticipation.     But the fire didn't burn him. In fact, it stopped right at his base. "Of all the branches," said the fire, "you're the only one that understands what a friend is." And with that he jumped to the neighboring tree and began to burn it. And that's why, when the entire forest had burned to the ground, the largest oak tree had a single branch still alive. ****** Back